Come down and see my shitty band play.

Rasul has been very confused.
Oh yes?
or,
Oh no?

See.. I dont even know the answer to that.

And this applies to everything.

What are you thinking?

Sometimes, i just dont know where to turn anymore.
I dont know what are the steps that i should take.
What are the moves that i should make.
But for each time i do, it's for sure im not doing it with covered eyes.

Shots, far too many times.
This skin.. is wearing thin.
Well i've been taking it in, all this time, all this while.
And making, seeing one smile has always taken pain away.
But this skin.. is wearing thin.

Seriously, i dont know what my values are right now.
I dont even know how much im worth.
Whether am i a ragged, abandoned, dumpshit,
or am i prestiged, commendable, and only for the merit.
I dont know. But i chose to take myself as the former.

I keep passing on words of uplift, and elation to one self.
But i soon realise i keep falling back myself.
And im never getting an inch higher.

All i want, all i ever wished for,
is to educate, care, and send much endearment to the immaculate one.
And each time whenever time brings aggravation, its very much uncalled for.
Is this norm?
I turn to who.
Is this norm? I asked.
Have i become sickened of this?

Im not thinking of parched land amidst the redest of all skies,
withered from scarcity, where none lived only but remains, that are kept unswept.
I think of fields that smelt of summer with the most vivid greenery spread under
a considerable, beautiful faunas that float amongst it.

Here, i ask again, what are you thinking?
I think i know. And i think it hasnt changed..

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND FOREVER.
XOXO.

TC.

Alas! Look over to your right.
Looks like i have only one friend left.
Pathetic as it may be.
But im not stopping any of you to call your set of list as "friends".

Anyway (on a different note), it seems to me like im not the only one..
Out from nowhere, i too develop that angst which i cant recall where the fuck i gathered them from.
Its all too sudden, and i dont know what to do.
Im not even sure what this is..
I just feel like blasting/spitting to someone's face.
Im. Not. Sure. Why.
Am i lacking something here?
Or maybe is something changing?
Or are there demands which are not met?
Or am i too tired till my fuse is out?
Or maybe, something, someone, is just waiting to get my right fist to their face..

I dont know.

2009 got me started out confused, troubled and agitated.

I need my band boys.
I need my loving girlfriend more.

And as for the rest of you, fuck off, please.
Happy fucking new year.